Commentary of If Girls Are Invincible...

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The full title of this comic strip episode is: "If Girls Are Invincible, Then the Best Person To Beat A Girl Is Another Girl!" The story starts with Burger moping about the fact that he had female enemies that physically hurt him, but he can't hit them back without getting into trouble because of how society usually fells about men hitting women. "Maybe ladies are invincible!" he thinks. Dr. John Von Foolish says to Burger that invincibility countermeasures invincibility, which gives him an idea! He summons his big sister Cheeseburger Milky Food into the club to fight for him! And of course, Cheeseburger beats the Brass Ladies up! The Brass Ladies learned to have a grudging respect for Burger since he & his sister love each other. (They're siblings, after all!) At the ending, when Burger & Cheeseburger come to taunt them in the hospital, Burger slips over Candy's banana peel, and then she was glad she missed the trashcan! As the narrator, I figured the injured ladies took enough punishment. Because of the culture he comes from, Burger is not very good at being a gentleman; also, his species is considered subhuman.

Gentlemen hate having ladies as opponents (especially in Martial Arts) because of that old stereotype about men being physically stronger than women. (It's at least partially true, but it doesn't mean that women are weaklings.) It hurts when someone attacks you, it doesn't matter if the attacker is male or female. When a woman slaps you in the face, it stings! If women are so weak, then why can they hurt men? There's an excellent question! Yet, men who beat women up are usually called bullies.


There are some cases in which the female is stronger the male. This may not be so realistic, but imagine if the female doubled in size...then her strength would be 4 times greater, plus her weight would be 8 times greater. (Doubling a character's size multiplies his/her strength by 4 & his/her weight by 8; this is fractal math. See the page about Fast-Grow Potion & Shrinking Salt for more information. The link to that page is in the Character Information Subset of the Extra Section.) If the male stayed at his normal size, his strength (& weight) would also remain the same. But since the female has grown bigger, she has become the stronger person! Now imagine if the male shrank to half his normal size. His strength would be quartered & his weight would be 1/8 as heavy as his normal weight. He would most likely be light enough for the female to lift up, even at her normal size! With his strength trimmed down to 25%, he has become physically weaker than the female!

Women have other strengths to make up for that physical disadvantage in weightlifting. Perhaps men, on the average, are physically stronger, but quite often, women are socially stronger! There are times when men are treated like disposable people. When that famous ship the Titanic sank into the ocean, the captain & crew helped the women & children, but not the men; they expected the men to "be tough". Over a thousand men died in that tragedy; more men than women died when that ship sank. One man actually dressed up as a woman to survive that tragedy! However, he was called a coward for doing that. This is known as the Women & Children First Saying. Male children (boys) would be helped by the captain & crew; but when they grow up & become men, then they would be treated like disposables! No more help from the captain & crew! At least female children (girls) will never have to worry about that when they grow up! Then again, women mourn the dead men they loved, so it's kind of bad for the ladies, too.

Anyway, if you're a guy with violent female enemies, there are ways around the Don't-Hit-Girls-If-You're-A-Boy thing. Sometimes, it's possible to defeat your opponents with non-violence! For one thing, you can trick your female foe into hurting herself! Or, you can have a female friend fight for your honor! (Burger showed that example in this episode!) Fortunately, if your female foe does hit you, then she may not get away with it depending on the situation. Even if she's smaller than you, your size advantage is nullified if she possesses a powerful weapon, like a knife or a gun! Then she can kill you, so beware! However, the police will arrest a woman for killing her husband, or another woman's husband, or anybody else; it doesn't matter if her victim is male or female. Either way, that makes her a murderess, and murderers (of either sex) go to jail! Despite sexism, there is justice for both sexes.


P.S.: This episode's ending is a parody of the ending of "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World!" The most noticeable difference is that the characters' genders are inversed! (And of course, the dialogue is different.)

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© Derek Cumberbatch